Living on a prayer

Well I am fresh from another blog break, which I put down to England winning yet another game of rugby. It's great to see the boys doing so well and getting back into the habit of winning games, winning like most things is a habit and one which comes easier with the frequency in which it occurs.

My habit at the moment is riding my scooter, Champion. I love it. Yesterday, in a soberish moment I was reminded about some off road scootering of a different kind that I had gotten myself involved in on the early hours of Sunday morning - by all accounts after we had won the rugby I decided that it would be funny to ride my scooter around the bar that we were all in - rounding everyone up to head off to Ikon - the main nightclub here.

Swiftly moving on. I had quite a sobering and intro"re"spective thought earlier. Now that isn't a word, but I noticed, whilst having breakfast at the Cashew Nut, well I noticed the girl from the massage shop next door lighting her scented sticks outside of her shop, she was sat down on the back of her heels, on the balls of her feet and saying a prayer. It actually looked quite beautiful and I am referring to not only the imagery, but also with a view to what she must have been thinking and maybe praying for in her thoughts, she looked truly content and relaxed - it was just one of those moments when everything else close around me seemed to blur into one with everything else and I actually felt a bit spiritual myself.

Sort of how I felt when I was looking eternally into the sunset in Bali last week....

I guess sometimes it's just good to feel that you may be part of a much bigger picture, not necessarily a spiritual or a religious one, but hopefully an everlasting one.

That's my thought for the day.

I hope you have one that makes you feel as equally content. x

Bali Day 1 Pt 2....

So shall we go see this Villa then......

Of course we shall I thought, so off we trotted up the steps and around the corner.... Immediate impression "Double Wow with a huge dollop of F'k Me!!"...... If the hills have eyes they'd be wishing they could grow some mind, body and soul so that they could experience the beauty and majesty of the place.

Now I've always been one to appreciate the finer things in life, and here I was, right in the middle of one of the finest villa's that life on earth has to offer.

First things first, a little photo of one of the first views that I witnessed.....

Blimey this place looks like heaven on a cliff top, maybe heaven is on a cliff top. Where's JC?

Thought I'd just take a turn to the left a little.....

If you don't know what one of the worlds best settings for what is probably a 30 metre infinity pool is, well, you do now as you are basically looking at it. Can't quite make it out..... Have another look here.....

Anyway, I could show you more pics of the views over the cliff edge there.... ok then... here it is....

See that table and chairs down there..... That's where I was stood earlier taking photo's, the villa where I am right now has the most awesome of view points.

Anyway, I could show you many more photo's but I'm going to reserve some discretion as the pad is a very exclusive one and if you want to know more about this $4000 US a NIGHT extravaganza, see the spa, meet some of the 28 staff, have a look at the games room, the cinema room, the unbelievable bedrooms and lot's lot's more.... Well send me a mail and I'll send you a link.

So the rest of the afternoon and evening we had a great time - that's all that I will say on the matter.

In terms of an opening day in a new environment with new people - well I have never experienced anything quite as friendly, exciting, astounding, amazing or as feel good as I did that Sunday afternoon.

So Bali people - you know who you are - Thank you.

Now Day 2 soon to follow. x

Bali Day 1

Well hello, how are you all doing? Been a while again...... Have had connection issues........ And I have been rather busy having my mind blown and inserting several springs into my step.....

What's been happening in your world? 

Fancy a trip into mine?..................... Let me take you away on a trip from Phuket to Bali - my last Sunday...... One of the best days that I have had in absolutely ages........ In terms of having my eyes opened to my hearts desires, well Sunday ticked a lot of the boxes....... If I could give a day marks out of ten, this would be one of the tens....... In terms of location, in terms of the great friendly people, the fun, the laughter, the chat and of course what I wasn’t expecting, the all important Wow factor...... TEN/TEN....... FACT.

So.... Saturday night I am in bed by 8 pm at The Happy Elephant as I am having to drive "Champion the Wonder Scooter" to Phuket Airport at 4am Sunday morning. About 70km And yes, I woke up on my alarm, picked up my bag and I was galloping up the motorway singing the theme tune as loudly as possible as has become tradition for me in an odd quirky way....... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5i_pEYGe1o

Then after my initial burst of excitement, I decided to put my first ever “Favourite” album, the classic "Songs from the Big Chair" into my ears via my ipod, and just loved every second of the 50 minute ride,  "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" in the dark, in paradise, not a living soul in sight, at 90km/h on a scooter.... I was absolutely loving it!

Then after paying a small fine for a day long overstay in Thailand, I was on board my flight and then whizz bang I am in Bali and being met at the airport by a really good friend of mine Lady F and off we go..... or should I say here we go...... A delightful 40 minute scoot from the Airport on our way to Uluwatu.

First stop her friend’s house where she stays and where I’ll be based for three days..... I really didn’t know what to expect..... All I’d been told was that her house mate was a really cool bloke from Scotland who manages a holiday villa and that I’d probably like the villa....... I'll post a video here very soon. But what an AMAZING pad.... just incredible, classic Bali architecture, split over three or four levels, it's an inside outside home, you literally go from inside to outside as you go from room to room and level to level, the video will explain some more, but check out a few pics below.....

That's the view from the kitchen...... Yep the floor to ceiling glass doors unfold so revealing quite a stunning view in anyone’s eyes - I'll get the video sorted later so you can have a look. It’s a bit different from a “Normal” house, so it’s worth a watch. And if the video is already there... then lucky you!

OK then, here's a little sample of the pool area down on level three......

After we stopped here, essentially to drop off some Bombay Saphire, I was told that  “We should grab some beers and head to my boyfriend’s house”. Which was about ten minutes on the scooter...... A ride of heavenly bliss, as you take in the peaceful roads, lush vegetation and glimpses of bays just off of the road, like Padang Padang below..... A great little spot and popular with the surfers...... It was fast becoming apparent from the people I was seeing, the beautiful lush countryside, the clear blue sky, the crystal clear sapphire tinged ocean – that I was in the middle of a very special part of the planet that we all call home.....

Then we arrived at the aptly named Surfers Villas..... They looked a little unlike I was expecting whilst not knowing what to expect..........This is how the little alley entrance way looks as you come down from the small guest car park........

From the initial arrival at Surfers Villas, we walked down that stepped alleyway and as you can well imagine, I had no idea whatsoever that I was basically perched on a cliff top and how much I was about to be blown away by the simplistic layout of the villa, but most amazingly and quite simply the views......

This one is just outside the back door......

Then this is what you see when you look back at the villa from the outside.....

And here's one from when you are perched just atop the cliff at the back of the garden looking out on the ocean......

Tell you what, I think I've done a video clip here..... Have a look and see what you make of it...... Ask me and my answer  - “Well it's quite simply  inspirational stuff”

Turns out my friend’s boyfriend, a genuine, genuinely friendly and welcoming American bloke, is a also very keen surfer – and luckily for him – that patch of sea that you can see there in the view and the video clip is commonly regarded in the surfing world as one of the best surfing spots anywhere, yes, ANYWHERE on the planet....... One of the breaks is simply called “Temple”...... So all this chat you hear about surfer’s paradise..... Well, I had landed right in the middle of it, with a guest pass, a golden ticket and a soon to be ready-made bunch of surf fanatic new American friends and one Scottish chap, that were all to a man a great bunch of  “Dudes”...... Awesome.....

So..... We quickly sank a couple of beers and ran out, so I offered to go grab a few more from “Bobby’s”.............

The local newsagent/beer hangout popular with the surfing establishment as a place to have a quick beer in between surf breaks and beers and fish taco’s..... Armed with instructions, onto the scooter I hop, whizz off to Bobby’s..... I hop off my scooter, notice a few more friendly decent looking surfing types having a beer offering a few nods and smiles as they are joking amongst themselves and having a few laughs – a few American accents....... I tentatively ask the lady “Can I have a few beers, I’m friends with F and J”..... Then one of the guys at the table stands up, I vaguely recognise him, offering his hand shake “Daaaaave..... How you doing, I’m J, friends of F, you’re staying at my house, welcome to Bali! Meet T and Big D”.....

Well long story short, new friends made, these guys immediately sounded like a great bunch, Big D definitely sounded the loudest btw, we sank a quick beer, headed back to F and J's, and then I was invited to have a look around a rather special property – part of the surfer villas set up and it was a visit that may lead to a potential business opportunity, a new life in Bali?...... It's a long shot, we'll see.......More about that later perhaps......

Had you thought that my eyes had been opened to the maximum by the sheer beauty, magnificence and simplicity of the two villa’s that I’d already been in that afternoon.......... Well, hold your horses...... And hold them tight....... My eyes were about to be out on sticks, we’re about to go into outer space where Villas are concerned....... This pad my friends, well it’s a whole new ball game..... Heaven on earth would be one way of describing it...... It was simply that breathtaking a property and location.....

Firstly some excuses.......I'm going to end that here for now, it's 6:50am and I need to go for a swim and get back into that again....... Bali Day 1 tbc........

Over and out. x

Girls On Film..... (Bit of Duran Duran for you)

Well the Duran Duran boy's undoubtedly had their pick of the bunch as far as women were concerned back in the 80's, of that I have no doubt. They probably continued right through the 90's and naughties - see what I did there......

So I am not dedicating this part of my blog to Duran Duran. Far from it, I am dedicating this part of my blog to the Craziest Woman in town..... yes my neighbour here at The Happy Elephant - The Eccentric Italian Lady....

Here she is again for those of you that haven't logged in for a while....

That is how she sits now, all day, she doesn't move. Apart from now and again when she is doing this....

Full on Mussolini style salute, totally mental. The boys from Duran Duran would NEVER have to have put up with this.

Then to top it off she decides to really lose the plot.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CurSlaFGsU

It truly beggars belief. So much so in fact that my next posting may have to be when I arrive in Bali as I am still in shock.

I have two extra padlocks on and a wardrobe up against my door.

Squawk.x

Facebook narrow mindedness and do mosquito's have eyes....

Right, I am going to have a mini rant.

Firstly, there there has been another sighting of the "Crazy" Italian Lady - ok - eccentric

Crazy is crazy do?

The thing about Facebook is that it is, well, it is lot's of things. But what good is it doing exactly. Probably lot's. But what about the hidden bads? What are people doing? What is that the point of it? What is it doing to The People? To individuals? To society? To mass opinions? To the people who have ulterior motives? To you? To me? What are people doing with it? Not just the power brokers, but maybe even your closest friends let alone your worst enemies.

I don't know whether it is a good or a bad thing but two "Political" postings by two loose "Friends" of mine (Oh and why are we/people friends with people we haven't even seen since we were 10 years old or never had hardly a word to say too  when we were "Friends") have got me thinking, or maybe I'm not thinking.

Why would you, or me, or anyone for that matter want to post something that is so ridiculously righteous regarding a political/economic/social/religious and yet so utterly stupid and unsubstantiated, or is the word I am looking for absurd?

Eg I can only assume a labour voting/supporting friend of mine, who wrote something along the lines of - David Cameron wants to sell off all of the trees, conservative scum, he lost, I despise the conservatives - Erm........

1. Cameron is part of a coalition government is he not?
2. The only reason why we have a coalition is because the last government all but sold our souls to the financial services devil.
3. They essentially put this country into such a disastrous financial position we are effectively owned by "Chinese/Arabic/Timbuctoo" sovereign wealth funds, from which as a nation we will never recover - NEVER - we can't possibly pay these sums back, we don't make anything anymore and everything else we "Do" is being outsourced, do the math, look at our balance of payment position. (I hadn't but I had to check - http://www.statistics.gov.uk/pdfdir/bop1210.pdf - it is shocking)
4 They drove our manufacturing and skills levels base to low levels never seen in any previous government, ever, EVER.
5 They presided over making the rich vastly incredibly, stupendously wealthy, beyond levels you and I cannot even conceive - it is that excessive it is sickening - and the best bit is they don't pay any tax in relative terms - and the poor so incredibly devoid of wealth and vitally hope (Yes, this was a Labour government) that they may as well be in a mental asylum.
6. We wouldn't have had to consider raising relative pennies from selling "Our" forests (land is the real value) to pay off a few weeks interest on these gigantic loans if it wasn't for our debts.
7 Seriously I could go on all day, but I won't, as they are predominantly my opinions but they are backed by fact.

I agree and I am glad that we haven't decided to sell off our forestry land, I think that it has too much social and environmental value. However, why make it a political statement? On Facebook????

My point here is, he made his remark rather flippantly and without too much, obviously any, research (like myself) - this person is a financial reporter and he's shown himself to all of his friends, peers and colleagues - to be a complete arse on so many levels.

Why on earth would you want to do that? Any educated person wouldn't have dreamed of making such a narrow minded ill thought through comment to his bosses and peers down the pub, he'd have been ridiculed.  So why do it "On paper" as it were and on such a transparent forum AND levied the remark as a political statement and a jibe at the Tories.

What also makes me laugh is that one of his ex colleagues pointed out that he used to be a print journalist..... Erm, a tree hugging print journalist - my case is validated.

Am I taking things out of perspective..... just wanna insert a photo.....

So in that instance my case is proven, will Facebook cost that man a degree of professional and also personal respect..... Maybe his job, maybe a future promotion? Maybe none of the above, maybe he'll become King. Anyway, essentially he is really a very decent bloke. Or is he.

(Are peoples thoughts already starting to become part of the fabric of life. Now there is a thought. Did you know that one of Googles mission statements is for us to have a "Google" chip inserted on our person......).

Anyway. He's probably had a bad day at the office. Just wanted to say something in his head, in what is his virtual world. However, this is when virtual can become reality. I guess when used naively inappropriately this is when Facebook or personal social media/marketing can have disastrous effects. I doubt that posting will prove to be disastrous, I hope not anyway.

The other quote that made me laugh was this one...... You can figure out for yourself why this comment is so naive and incredibly economically, socially and politically fool hardy - THERE IS A REASON WHY 99% of people won't post it you idiot -

Posting..... Doesn't make much sense, does it??: Homeless go without eating. Elderly go without needed medicines. Mentally ill go without treatment. Troops go without proper equipment. Veterans go without benefits that were promised. Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first. 1% will re-post and 99% won't. Have the guts to re-post this. I KNOW I'm in the 1%

- I am not sure if the 99% all understand the social/economic/political reasons as to why, but I hope they are seeing the bigger picture - from acorns grow mighty oaks.....

Anway, do mosqito's have eyes?

And yes. x

Island Living is paradise.

Well welcome to another edition of Muay Thai Shorts.

Today my virtual pals, well, today has been a good day.

Today has been a very good day in terms of fitness, I've upped the swim to two and a half lengths of the Nai Harn Bay now. There's just something about being able to step off of your scooter, wander bare footed across the beach feeling the sand beneath your toes and then gently lowering oneself into the sea; which is at an ideal temperature. (At seven in the morning might I add). Just as the sun is rising up over the hills. It's the visibility that is also amazing when you are swimming, seeing the odd multicolored fish swim beneath you or perhaps being lucky enough to spot a small harmless shark going about his day.

Today I had two croissants before my swim. They are just lush and the fact that the French man has left his Parisien life behind to set up his famous Phuket Island bakery and enjoy this lifestyle, well I give him maximum credit. The fresh coffee he serves up boosts my metabolism for the swim and the carbohydrates in the croissant provide an extra bit of energy to aid me along. The bakers life is a simple one. He arrives at his bakery at around 4am, ensures his staff have correctly mixed the fresh ingredients, supervises the baking, then from 6:30am his wares go on sale and he basically hangs around until all of the croissant, pain au chocolat, French sticks, tartes and other little delicacies - that I dare not ask the name of else he'll offer me a sample and I'll become his number one customer - are all sold. Then he goes home and has the rest of the day free. Not a bad life, and anyone who has spent any time in rural France will know that they live a very similar, simple and agreeable lifestyle there. One I may aspire too, but let's not forget, he lived in the big smoke and now he lives more or less on the beach, well, a lagoon. All good.

Today I even stopped off at the bakery again, Chez Nous, on the way to the beach, the second time around today, to pick up one of his chicken, salad and mayo baguettes. 130 Baht, relatively expensive for this part of the world, but arguably one of the best baguettes I have ever had, and when I got to the beach all my pals turned a little green with envy - those that didn't was down to the fact that I could hear their scooters starting up and they were off to get one for themselves!

The beach today was a new one..... Horrible place to spend a few hours..... See below......

The only draw back of all the sun is that I have had to get myself a hat. Now, in Thailand I am not sure if you are aware, but someone made a fortune once upon a time when they started making smaller condoms....

(Now that right there was a change of direction I bet you are thinking).

This is because Thai guys have smaller cocks than their Western counterparts, yes, I am now lowering the tone further...... Wahoo........ However, as ever, there is method to this perceived madness.

Which is; due to my very short hair, as a result of losing most of it, I have had to buy a hat. I have discovered that Thai men and their cock size have a very positive correlation with their head size. Consequently I have finally found a hat that finally fits me, after three weeks of looking........ Iit may look a little "Lady Dave" or even "Elton Dave" but it definitely fits in with my ride aka Champion The Wonder Bike. However, boy do I look like that famous cocktail, yes, a "Cock-Sucking-Cowboy"......

When one of the guys at the beach today said, "Whenever I look at you in that hat, it reminds me of Broke Back Mountain" - I swiftly replied - "Well that's your own issues mate, I'm totally at home with my sexuality!" - got many laughs.

Anyway, here I am.....

So there we are, that's my new look. I quite like it to be honest.

Then, bearing in mind we are on a beach, in paradise, today I thought I had a sign from above. The Lord Almighty is entering my life, he has a message, he's providing me with a sign.....Thankfully I don't believe in God....... And more importantly I soon realised that it wasn't the "Good" Lords work.......However, had it been his handiwork, at these prices I may well have become a believer.....

I just "walked on by", got a crooked neck mind, however, it's great to see that I am able to still resist a beer, don't forget £1=50 baht..... And I'm in paradise, I've paid over 8 times those prices at some beach bars over the years for a beer.....

I'm going to end this blog for today now and head back to the beach...... Maybe they'll have some left....

Only joking.

On the way home I popped into the gym for an hour, I've just had jacuzzi and a swim in the pool here at The Happy Elephant. Next up I'll have a shower then head to dinner, some Tom Yam Gai (totally gert lush) for 90 baht tonight with a side dish of vegetables in oyster sauce 60 baht (Broccoli, beans, cauliflower, carrots etc) and as I'm peckish I'll probably add a spicy papaya salad (just amazing) at 90 baht.... Lush!

Basically a fiver for a full on Thai meal.

So, another great day in paradise.

I am glad to say that, if only temporarily, I am living the dream.

If this sort of thing is your dream by the way, then I can safely say that anyone and everyone can experience this at least once in the future.

And if you don't believe me, drop me a line and I'll tell you how.

Life's sweet. x

Morning Swim......

Well I am back from my morning swim and slightly disappointed that it only takes me about 40 minutes to swim the mile. Maybe 35 minutes. I was hoping that I was swimming for an hour....

Anyway..... this is how my morning usually goes, well today's anyway.

1. Wake up and for some reason have a rant about the Arabs, Dubai and capitalisms downfalls - that was just today for some reason might I add.

2. Get on Champion the Wonder Bike (see earlier blog). We set a new record on Saturday night by the way, 120 km/h. That's it now, I'm no longer after setting records. Anway, I have taken a photo of her today as she deserves her little bit of glory and a space on the virtual universe that is the tinternet, so here she is...

(2a). A friend of mine who exists essentially only on the tinternet (Don't know why I've gone all Phil Kaye) who writes a dating website blog has requested/suggested I post a few more photos. I always forget to post them but today after my morning outburst of mad karma I decided I would post some pics, I can be forgetful without meaning to be. Anyway, her blog is @ erm, bugger, forgotten! I will post it later. Anyway, I suspect she'll be harping on about how she hasn't had any Valentines cards, had around 600 messages form PoF and/or maybe, just maybe she has some anecdotes about Valentines Day or maybe the top ten maddest from the 600 messages. So like missing my blog, if you also miss hers as a rsult of my forgetfulness, you aren't really missing much in the grand scheme of things. Believe you me though, on PoF (Plenty of Fish - it's a mad house) there are thousands of mentalists on there, must be a few decent ladies out there though, and blokes for the ladies. I digress yet again.

3. Once on Champion I head down to Nai Harn Beach for my swim. However on the way there I stop at my latest favourite 7am place, the French Bakery, where I have a croissant and a delicious quaffee (coffee). And here it is...... Yes, it has come to this, I am posting a picture of a cafe on the internet in a blog that has even started to bore me to death..... My life has really come down to this.... has it really? Yes it obviously has.....Really David, what the f*ck is going on, get a grip.........

4. I then get carried away with myself and decide that with all the beauty around me I should take a photo of what in hindsight is, and without hindsight still is...... A telegraph pole and a load of wires....... Amazing Dave.... get ready to be entered into the blog of the year....... A sure fire winner....... Jesus Christ, a telegraph pole..... Oh, and how arty...... the sun rising from behind a sign....... this sign unfortunately isn't saying "Get a life"......  Incredible photography Dave........ genius at work, somewhere..... else.

5. Swiftly moving on. Especially as someone was watching me taking that non art house photo. I then make my way down to the beach where I have taken a few snaps, I must admit it is all very peaceful and a pleasure to be able to do breast stroke down to the end there. Then I turn around and head back doing the freestyle tastic front crawl. All without stopping now might I add. I did add.

6. As you can see it's still sort of sunrise. And if I turn to the right a little bit this is the view of the bay. Unlike Otis Reading I am not sat on the dock of it, as there is no dock. People get boated in on the little power dingy, that just to confuse you, is not in the photograph.

7. Then after my swim I get back on Champion and whizz back to the Happy Elephant where I am "Delighted" to see the Crazy Italian lady in her bikini......

By the way, before Champion there was another Champion whose battery died, I've just noticed from looking at a photo of her..... check who is in the back ground... pre day glo, arm raised.......... spooky....... That was my first day in Thailand, 10 days before I moved to the Happy Elephant.......

Anyway. That was my morning up until that point. I have just dropped off a weeks worth of washing at the laundrette - this blog just get's even more exciting - which will cost me 3 pounds to get washed and ironed. Bargain.... And then I nipped along to the Bamboo Cafe for my fruity muesli with yoghurt and another deliciously caffeine full coffee.

So adios campers. I am now going to make a plan for the rest of my stay.

Bali on Saturday for three days, then here until the 28th Feb. Then I need to decide do I come home, stay for longer, go on a tour of Vietnam, go to Australia, or who knows.

Peace out. x

Muay Thai Swimming Shorts

Well I've had a few days away from my blog as to be honest things have slowed down a bit here in Thailand. And after a massive victory for England against Italy I had a two day hangover.

I did see two friends from Dubai yesterday, had a great catch up and it was interesting to hear their stories on my disappearance from Dubai. I also heard a few more stories, and yes, like I have previously said and whole heartedly acknowledge, everyone has issues and problems to deal with. More of that later perhaps - the truth is out there.

My fitness levels are improving so I am hoping that I can resume my Muay That kick boxing very soon. They are improving as I am continuing to dedicate myself to improving myself, at least my physique for the time being. Me mental state took a hungover hammering on Sunday thanks to a great victory by England over the Italians! In terms of exercising  for the past few days, excepting Sunday, I have been swimming about a mile in the sea at around 7am.... ie for me now, in 31 minutes time.

Having lived in Dubai for several years this is something that I never made the most of, as an opportunity - swimming in the sea. Although I might add that swimming here with a back ground of paradise with the sun rising over the lush green hills with silhouetted palm trees is a little bit different to swimming with a back ground of a building site for money launderers, cheating Arabs, inflated ego's and many despicable Westerners; sadly the place turned into a very high class version of Shameless - well that is my lasting impression.

There are some decent people over there, from all back grounds, however people do change, we shall see what becomes of the place and it's people over time. But effectively when an incredibly wealthy "Governing" entity state that is part of the incredibly wealthy "Brotherhood/Mafia" that is the UAE decides to employ the skills and effectively borrows vast incredible monumental sums of  money from Western business to create this very Arabic "My balls are bigger than your balls" eutopia - and then decides it won't pay back the monies - well - who coined the phrase "A cheating Arab"?

Mind you I could equally say the same about a particular white "Arab" that I used to call a brethren lol. Money, or rather the perceived lack of it does funny things to people I guess.

I suppose when contracts are "Written in the sands" - arguably the most ridiculous saying ever - then the West and whoever else got their fingers burnt - only have themselves to blame for being naive enough to trust said "Cheating Arabic" leaders. Like the West, they have a set of equally corrupt and greedy rulers, the division between rich and poor is off of the scale with the rulers living already in the heavens on earth whilst their people live in abject poverty in comparison. These Sheiks, leaders, puppets, muppets? Well they just hide behind their whiter than white dish dashes and holier than though daily propaganda being belted out by brainwashed clerics or whatever they are called. Oh, and newspapers, they use them as well, and the radio, and the tv, oh and the internet..... Pretty much like our governments do with our "Free" press..... David.... Stop it....

Anyway, on the Arabic front, it looks like an uprising is finally on the way, you can only keep a camel down for so long and Egypt look to be leading the gold rush that may result in a rush on gold - as the political equilibrium on black gold starts to waver - changes are a coming and the knock on effects for us all could be, well, revolutionary to say the very least.

So I digress, I have gone from swimming in paradise to wondering why the hell the people of these Arabic states put up with their leader's greed - Allahss - see what I did there - perhaps the brainwashing is currently being spread to thinly...... On both sides..... I guess they've at least been content with diverting the "State or is it The State's" funded terrorists towards the Western power base, and we've been content to think it was Arabic/Muslim state funded...... I wonder if that'll return to haunt themselves/ourselves as their's is probably the peaceful equilibrium that the Western leaders don't really want to disturb....... God/Allah, stop it David.....I am getting too far ahead of myself now and think it's time to go for a swim.

Have a good day. Enjoy it whilst you can. x

Muay Oh My it's Shakes beard....

Well well well. To be or not to be? That is not the question that I am asking myself. To stay or not to stay? That is the question.

It seems that after ten days of "Rest" my hip is still giving up the ghost and my thoughts on using Musy Thai as a means to rejuvenate myself aren't quite turning out the way I had planned. Maybe I could just try and "Box" but I can see that just making my injuries worse. I know that I can just gym and swim, although the half hour of cardio this morning almost killed me, mind you my mind wasn't on the job, all this nonsense that I am typing here was. So I am now at a cross roads of sorts, thankfully I'm not at the Crossroads Motel, that would be a little too bizarre to comprehend, and stupid, not forgetting impossible.

The pro's and cons, the costs and benefits and/or the SWOT analysis of the age old classic hit should "Should I stay or should I go now" is starting to echo in my mind. What does my gut instinct tell me, well not a lot, it seems to have deserted me of late. There are more questions than answers, is my mind uncomfortably numb? Does this point to the outcome that perhaps I should stay? The financial angle says I should return home. The state of mind angle thinks I should stay, but for the right reasons, for what reasons? I have noticed that I used to have a spark, don't seem to have it anymore, maybe I do, I don't know, maybe I'm just over tired.

The sun is amazing, it truly lifts the soul, but the boredom factor is setting in - no gym no structure which was getting me back on the tracks. I am trying too, and I am, filling my day with positives; actions and dos, so that has to be a positive. It's quite a solitary existence, travelling on your own, especially when I was surrounded by 60 people at the gym for 6 hours a day in that first week. However I have made a few decent people, younger travelling types, God they are still so bright minded, enthusiastic and naive - although maybe that's just youth and a blessed lack of relatively difficult times - long may that continue.

What I guess is good is that I have applied to do some online courses in online advertising management systems. Nice and random, you've still got it Dave, don't worry my son - it'll all come good, well, at least average.

Like I have said before, God knows what to do, but is there a God, oh God, we're not going down that road or up that stairway to heaven.

Oh GOD, I am sat on the balcony area of the reception and mad Italian lady has turned up and sat down behind me.... Seriously, I had no idea she was there until she started piping up and I caught the day glo in my peripheral vision!

Well anyway, such inane mumblings, but if I had a scooter that you could ride around on inside my head, that's what it would be like, this morning, with a bass like hummming white noise in the back ground  that's sort of like looking into the distance with nothing really in focus as you day dream, do you ever do that? I seem to do that a lot. Is that a condition, a mental condition? Or is it just day dreaming? Think it's just day dreaming.

Thank God, she's just left, with her hand in the air, as per usual.

Besides, I have a great life really, especially relatively speaking to a lot of the planets population, but everything's relative I guess. I'm off to Bali next Saturday, see, amazing. I think I'll just join a gym here and keep pressing on with some working out and eating well. I have a loving mum and a garage to return too which swells my heart. So I'll decide what to do over the next few days. In the meantime I just hope I can keep me chin up, God I truly dislike that saying.

Hey, life's good, it's definitely what you can make it, you just need to make it - I just need some direction I think.

Oh and by the way, I do like a good laugh, and this makes me laugh every time I see or even think about it for some reason, it's brilliant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph9UeBy15OI

It's from Due Date.... please watch it. x

The Crazy Older Italian Lady with Ze Big Boobies, dodgy growler and day glo plastercast....

Sorry for maybe going a little bit Allo Allo on you there, but it's taken me a while to process what I witnessed walking back from the pool to my room a few days ago. In fact I am not sure that I should allow myself to think about it even now, but seeing as this forum is turning into a personal physiotherapists couch, what the heck......

Firstly let me explain. There is an Italian lady, who thinks she's a doctor, she might well be, I doubt it, who is  60+ years old and she stays in a bungalow about thirty not enough metres from my front door, right next to the pool here at the Happy Elephant. She comes across to everyone here as being a few coffee beans short of an espresso, definitely losing a few marbles - whenever we see her around the pool she doesn't so much speak English, it's more "Clipped Winged Pigeon English".

Picture an older reasonably attractive in her youth lady - always in a very "Why are you wearing such a skimpy brightly colored bikini at your age" get up - then add to that image a broken right wrist, which is in a cast that is covered in a day glow fluorescent green material - waddling around like a busy body who needs to let one go - always complaining - always making odd gestures with her arms whenever she speaks - the right arm might I add generally seems to be raised in a sort of Nazi style salute - and she always, without fail, whenever someone new arrives at the pool, descends on them, starts "Squawking" a random selection of words like "Steps", "Wood" and "Tummy" (Whilst pointing at her head) in this Italian version of Rene's accent in Allo Allo.

Absolutely bonkers.

I don't know what to say now as I am a little bit scared that she may be hiding in my bathroom.

Anyway. She seems to make a b-line for me every time I go near the pool and I am sure that she winks at me like Anne Robinson as I do so - though generally I look in the opposite direction to wherever I think she may be. She also has an amazing ability to appear out of nowhere, always about two feet away from your right shoulder, it is impossible that she could have been anywhere near you only split seconds before.

Slightly radio rental? One person saw her shampooing her hair in the pool the other morning.

Today, let's not forget that she is a doctor, we think she was asking my friend what she should get at the pharmacy for her upset tummy (yes, saying stomach and tummy - whilst pointing at her head).

She even mentioned how she likes to do volunteer work whenever possible, which didn't surprise me as she always has her hand up.

But the other day something very odd happened. I'd finished my laps in the pool and had a quick scout around to check that the coast was clear as I was too tired too chat to an extra from a real life One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. All clear, mind you it was about five o'clock in the evening - siesta time for the mentally deranged? So I thought I'd quickly scamper the 30 or so paces down the side of the derelict Spa, past the unused, outside, very public shower and back to my room.

No sooner had I turned the corner down the side of the spa, so that I was directly facing the said shower unit, empty, did I then notice a sudden movement, this Italian ladies head popped around the side of the shower cubicle. It just appeared as if by magic. Eyes bright, mouth wide smiling. What the hell is she doing in there I thought..... Then, within less than a split second, there she was, she's leapt out like you would when you would shout "Surpirse" to give someone the shock of there life, only she didn't need to shout surprise, surprised, understatement and a half...... there she was....... all of her, stood in front of me, stark, no-b*llocks naked........ not a single stitch of clothing on..... Oh no I thought........ Oh God..... My eyes lowered instinctively to the ground, away from her mad ones....... affirmitive I thought upon checking again, no sign of her bikini bottoms...... Oh sh*t what is happening.........  she was waving her white towel in the air in her left hand..... then my ears started working again, she was screaming "Sorry Sorry, What am I doing? I am naked!!" - No shit Sherlock, what the f*ck are you doing AND yes, you are very very naked AND why on earth are you in a shower that I am sure doesn't work???

Being a gent, I put my hands/arms up to cover my eyes, as you would if you were ever blinded by a flash of light and kept walking; almost into a palm tree..... yet I could still see the towel flapping around like it was caught up in a mini mid air cyclone, she was making not even a slight attempt to cover a single square inch of her body,  her boobs were jumping up and down like a pair party jelly's on a power plate and she was hopping from foot to foot as if on hot coals..... It was all happening in slow motion though due to her advancing years - I have never seen anything like it in all my born days....... And then, in the commotion, this woman, who cannot speak a word of English, when asked what the time is for example, started matter-of-factly saying "David David I'm so embarrassed,  if I shower in my room, I slip on floor and hurt wrist, slip slip pier".......... I'm replying "Just cover yourself up you crazy bit*h, you are scaring the children that I don't even have yet". She then started whooping and what sounded like an attempt at a sexy yet innocent laugh......

I couldn't credit it, I was now laughing my head off, what the hell has she said pier for, walking at a canter to my room, opened the door and made sure to lock it behind me.

Anyway, that is the mad Italian lady who coincidentally is here with her husband who looks like he's on his third nervous breakdown.

And I've sneaked a photo of her two days later....

It beggars belief, another day passes at The Happy Elephant.

Fun Fairs and another waste of money....

Well, never let it be said that I do not know how to waste my money. Without wanting to blow my own trumpet, and trust me I wish that I wasn't able to blow this particular trumpet, I am a money wasting expert. I seem to have acquired this skill and perfected it over the years; from losing what I think are vast sums of cash to relatively small amounts. For some reason I just can't help myself. Is it a disease?

Yesterday was a case in point of how to turn approximately 20 English pounds into, well, see for yourself....

I made the mistake of entering the area of the games stalls at what has to be one of the biggest week long festival markets in the whole of Asia. Walking around the thousands of stalls I was amazed at the supremely low level and quality of utter crap that they were selling. Let me just emphasise that again, it was all such total and utter crap.

That Teddy Alien thing above would have cost me about 35 baht on a stall, possibly less. Never has a teddy thing been so badly made, the quality of workmanship is a sight to behold, I am convinced that it is filled with asbsestos.

The quality of the products on the stalls was appalling. I was laughing at the fake sunglasses that cost 100 Baht (about 2 pounds), ridiculing the sellers of hooky fake T-Shirts for 50 Baht,  amazed at the audacity of the market stall holders selling what were extremely low quality i-phone 4's for 1000 Baht (20 quid)...... So why on earth, when I got to the "Burst 8 balloons with 8 plastic darts" stall to win what can only be described as the most un-child friendly, quite hauntingly looking  "Teddy Thing" did I become totally obsessed about winning one?

20 Baht for 8 darts, I had at least 25 attempts before my win. This all happened, this wasting of money, with my knowing immediately upon the first dart being thrown thrown that absolutely no skill was involved - it performed a whirling dervish type flight defying any laws of physics that I have been lead to believe exists. These little plastic darts had a flight path of their own choosing. In all seriousness, had the dart performed a "loop-the-loop" on it's way to wherever it would end up, I wouldn't have been surprised.

Anyway, I won, in the end.

Every loser wins I believe would be the song title for that particular little "Joy de vivre".

Had Del Boy been at the market not only would his stall and items for sale been the equivalent of Harrods in comparison to everything else that I saw, he would have also been taking great pleasure calling me a right plonker!

Anyway, I am going back there tonight as I want to win the Liverpool FC sausage pillow thing and have a stab at winning the Play Station 4 games console on the hoopla stand, yes, that is a Play Station 4, which doesn't exist in the real world yet and not a typo.

The Kings Speech

Well if there are other films that make you proud to be British? Human? And one that shows that you can overcome adversity (if that's the correct word) through determination, persistence and inner strength , then that has to be one of the better ones.

So I think I'll jump on the Oscar bandwagon for that particular film. I'm no longer going to moan about my back/hip, my bad luck, will try not to moan about anything to be honest with you and will just get on with it.

Think I mentioned confrontation in an earlier blog. And watching that movie has given me a fillip of sorts, it has definitely knocked on a few of my minds doors and posted a few reminders through the letter boxes.

Doing the right thing is not the message of the film, but doing the right thing, improving yourself and being true to yourself is often difficult to consistently perform is it not? Well I have often found that to be the case, mind you I haven't always been too sure as to who I am which doesn't really help. However, I digress, "Doing the right thing", whatever that may be, and doing so with courage, purpose and endeavour often seems impossible, but is that necessarily so?

Call things impossible, that happen less and less (name that song again - also the rest of that particular lyric is quite fitting giving the film mentioned).

Shouldn't good habits be as easy to live by as the bad ones seemingly are? Cutting the bad ones out, whatever you feel that they are, must be doing the right thing no?

I don't know, I'm jibbering again, but I feel like I am making some sense, at least to myself, in those meanderings. Which technically isn't even a word, or is it? God I don't know, blimey, there's an epitaph right there!

Anyway, enough of my jibber, I was going to tell you about my trip to an island today, an island with just a bar on it. Yes, we took a long boat about half an hour into the Andaman sea, where we were dropped off on this island, and all that it had on it was a tiny beach and a bar.

Heaven?

God knows. But such a place definitely leaned on one of my occasionally overly indulgent slightly bad habits..... However the place was definitely other worldly, before the French and Italians arrived it was arguably one of the most peaceful spots that I have ever had the privilege to be in.

Maybe Heaven was an overstatement - well it couldn't have been as it didn't have a golf course for starters!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrXM_eQRW68

Was pretty special though.

Champion...... The - Wonder...... Bike!

Excuse the pause, it's been a rather mad topsy turvey few days.

What can I say, Wales played England at rugby. England Won, Wales Lost - four words in possibly the most brilliant order if you are an Englishman and a  rugby fellow from the wonderful City of Bath. One of our former players was Captain and fair play, he lead us to a victory.

The problem though with Wales vs England is that this means I have to have a drink...... Not a Gatorade, I'm talking about 20 bottles of 6.4% Chang beer, I'm told a fair few black Sambucas and I found myself in a club called Laguna with a Policeman waving his torch into my eyes as I was trying to show him that I had my wrist stamped..... Yes I thought he was a bouncer and apparently the club had been raided...... So I am then outside the said club at 3am trying to find my bike, a friend asked me what it looked like, and my reply "Basically, it looks like a bike", I was pretty drunk..... Anyway, this bike..... it isn't really a bike, it's so much more than a bike, it is my trusty stallion, my "Champion The Wonder Bike". I found it and she got me back to The Happy Elephant, where I proceeded to find more beers and watched the game via MSN text totally unaware that had I simply turned the tv on I would have caught the last ten minutes.

Upon the final whistle I could hear Champion's hooves doing whatever horses do when they get excited and I knew she wanted to party on as much as I did. So off we went in search of the next wave of fun.....  With me happily singing the theme tune at the top of my voice, for what is the 7km loop all the way back to her stables and my room, where I woke up a few hours later with a very sore head.

I wouldn't ever recommend that you drive around on a scooter/horse in the state I was in, and I shan't be doing very many more times, however, I do take the greatest of care though, and Champion would never let me down!

Everybody hurts

Sometimes.

My wallet hurt a little but today having spent 1400 baht for breakfast at the not so very Five Star Royal Phuket Yacht Club. A little disappointing to say the least.

That photo is where I am staying at the moment btw, The Happy Elephant, better than the Yacht Club I reckon. Infinitely better value anyway.

Had a chat with a young friend of mine and he's hurting a lot, has some personal troubles with his life imploding on the girlfriend and parent front. Reminded me a little bit of a younger me. It's good being able to listen and offer some advice. Horses for courses, but he seems to be a very thoughtful and genuinely caring soul so I've advised he get some counselling if he can so he doesn't get lumbered with echoes in his mind.

What else hurts? My hip, but not so much today.

I even had a conversation with someone about tattoo's today, are they a good thing? or a bad thing? "They are beautiful" "But you are already beautiful" "But it's a part of me that I want to express" "But you already express yourself". What is the right reason and what is the wrong reason? Is there a right reason? And is there a wrong reason? I don't know. Do I really care. Guess that I do.

Guess my thoughts are hurting a little bit too just this very second, which sometimes happens when I reflect back on time and I'm momentarily feeling sorry for myself again. Wishing I had a map to find my way out of the place I am in as I still can't even find the light switch in this tunnel. But it's not that bad as I seem to be developing "a system of touch, and gentle persuasion.... " Anyone remember what song I have just lifted that line  from? One chufty badge point going if you can. And I'm not developing a system of gentle persuasion at all, quite the contrary, but I do like that song.

So enough of the melancholy as life is great and my God it could be a lot worse and the whole point of it is to make it better.

The great thing about "travelling" is that you kind of become a part of a new ever morphing jigsaw puzzle, not in a puzzling way, more in a way that you step out from your usual oddly shaped existence and background, to become part of a newer less familiar picture. One that seems to shimmer and change a lot more, as if your piece is able to change shape, you start to realise that you have some influence over the shape and position as well. Whether you are the sky, or the hills, or the sea or maybe just a road sign. You seem to realise that you do in fact have a lot more influence on the lives of those around you and more importantly that you actually have one yourself. And I guess the most important part, like any piece in a jigsaw, is knowing that you are actually very important, you are needed and the puzzle would never be able to be complete without you. And if this all follows through, then this is a continuous state and I need to remember this analogy if and when I am back home wondering what it's all about - your life is a jigsaw puzzle, and not a box of chocolates Forest!

So whilst everybody hurts, a song that I have never really liked to be honest, if you actually let the noise fade away to a nothingness (Which is good as that song is just too bloody well depressing, I have never listened to it all the way through) it's good to know that you are still here and that you can still influence your own and other peoples lives - and hopefully you can see that you can and should do so in such a very positive way.

Left Hipism

So today I put my hip in the very capable beer loving hands of Canadian Brian D Kendall, the proprietor of Tranquility - Relaxation, Rejuvenation & Rehabilitation. It turns out that my hip, which I could hardly rotate has become the victim of my determined mind. It has been overworked as a direct result of the imbalance created by my over enthusiasm at Rawai Muay Thai. The upshot was that the right side of my hip was a full inch higher than the left side - ouch.

However, with some very skillful, quite painful manipulation of my spine and then a deep breath and a twist - ping - my hip is back to horizontalis normalus.

Brian D Kendall, I salute you and may your beer always be the loving and properly cold nectar that you so deserve!

This means that I am no longer able to train for two days....... However, this cloud that seems to be following me around has at least started offering a consistent, and seemingly improving, silver lining......

The past couple of days I have become acquainted with a rather interesting young lady from Singapore who goes by the playfully self created name of Cleopatra Zou Zou. It made me laugh that she has an alter ego and that she blushed and was a little bit embarassed about when I lightly quizzed her about it. (Hmmmm, Is this the norm? Am I missing out on something here? Does everyone have a silent inner super hero type character going on? Is this what I've been missing out on? Or is this an Asian thing? Or maybe it's just "Her" thing? What would my alter ego go by the name of? Would I wear a cape? Maybe a donkey jacket? Possibly some retractable flares? Oh God, stop this right now David.....).

My goodness, anyway, by some bizarre coincidence we seem to share a group of friends from days gone by. (It's weird how when two pasts collide there is definitely something, I don't know what, maybe spiritual is the word, going on, maybe it's just the mind trying to piece things together like a parallel universe style jigsaw - I'll have to come back to those colliding thoughts). Zou Zou is also at Rawai Muay Thai and she too has a similar injury to myself, which doesn't surprise me as she definitely gives as good as she gets. Anyway, the main upshot is that we get along very well and we'll be starting tomorrow off at The Royal Phuket Yacht Club - we decided that if we can't work out we should at least treat ourselves to a decent breakfast to start off the day - I may even have a glass of wine - with breakfast.... stranger things have happened, maybe a bucks fizz - probably just a coffee. But at the very least I'll have some rather delightful company with some intelligent conversation thrown in.

Which reminds me, I introduced the idea of Vodka Espresso's to a whole new generation at the dinner table last night.... Peoples eyes were lighting up..... Just they wait until they try one. Have you ever tried one? Big respects to Jesse. My version involves a shot of espresso, about half a tea spoon of brown sugar and a shot of vodka, preferably from the freezer - and then - bang, in one! Have two.

So it seems to me/be, that by putting oneself into a position to improve oneself, making the most of this opportunity that we call life, putting yourself out there, this naturally creates and opens up new worlds of possibilities, it even gets help from the broken pieces of past ones.

It also never ceases to amaze me just how small this world really is and how we are all pretty much inter connected together.

Grinding Hips... Confrontation - Simples!

Anyone's hips grind when they walk? Doesn't sound great does it, quite literally, but my left hip has started to make a grinding noise and is causing a searing pain.

So today I am having a rest day from Muay Thai and will be seeing a physio or a chiropracter and hopefully my internet researched worries of having arthritis is just a misplaced fear.

To be honest I'm not the happiest that I have been in the past ten days or so, but I am not going to let it get me down. A lot of good work has been done personally, both mentally and physically since departing the UK. Part of my reasoning for coming away was to try and flatten out my emotional range of extreme highs to extreme lows. So I shall don my make believe "Harri Krishna" robes this morning, take some deep breaths, think about heavenly butterflys and mystical well being - then deal with this problem as soon as possible rather than let it fester and turn into something that may cause me to spiral downwards - both phsically and mentally - not good would that be!

Now, that's got me thinking.

See, self help books would have you thinking all sorts of things at this point (I haven't read any beyond the introduction of one so I don't know what exactly) and I am guessing they'd have me thinking along the lines of - "The path to enlightenment is a journey of a spiritual kind" or "The inner self is working at all times and will surface when you are in your hour of need" or "You need to focus your energies towards your inner-self".

Personally and rightly so (as I am always right, lol), I find all of that a load of b*llocks. Yes, let me spell that out A LOAD OF B*LLOCKS. Let's be brutally honest, an individual, eg me, can ultimately only sort myself out. And the major problem that I have, don't know about you, is that I probably have problems accepting that I have a problem and then have an even bigger one confronting the problem - mainly because my brain allegedly doesn't know how too or doesn't want too or doesn't like too.

Whether this be the fact that I have liked one too many drinks in the past (And future no doubt - no I am not an alcoholic thankfully/luckily, I just have trouble saying no) which is probably a symptom of a problem or for example, putting things out of my mind that bother me/cause pain/anguish - which is a problem.

However, I think the one word that I need to learn how to put into action is "Confrontation". Especially when dealing with a potential problem. I usually tend to find myself procrastinating; confronting and dealing with it I think is the way forward. This may come across as blindingly obvious to you, but having had a clear head for almost two weeks - for the first time in probably 20 years - it seems to make a bit more sense to me than just trying to lock away the problem in the back of my mind or alternatively, inside the smoke and mirrors of a self help book.

Now this does not mean that I am going to start too write a list of all of my problems as a lot of them have been hidden away very successfully - digging them up and asking them around for a cup of tea and a natter, well, that would just be silly. What I may do though is have a little word with some of the ones that are floating around at the moment. eg is the electricity reading where I am staying really 328 and not say 300 therefore setting me up for a bigger bill upon departure and like I mentioned earlier, have  I really got arthritis and do I risk a big medical bill sorting it out - yes of course I bloody well should - one lifetime & one body/mind to get me through it - must look after it!!

So that's my little piece of personal knowledge and learning for the day - Confrontation - it always sounded to me like a very nasty word, one that would cause upset perhaps? But let it be known from this day forwards that "Confrontation is your friend".... yes, it's my new friend!

Right I am off to try and fix my hip, which in turn will prevent any further deterioration to my mind and body, and I'm also going to  speak to the adorable Tang on reception about my meter reading - any excuse to say hello to her she is a total honey!

As a very popular Meer Cat would probably say, "Simples".

Free flow a go go

Well it had to happen, my "Aging" body couldn't keep up with my still very youthful mind. 37 hours of training over 9 days and my hip seems to have given up the ghost. Semi disaster, but hey, hopefully the physio tomorrow will have a cure and I'll be back in the gym in no time at all.

However every cloud...... Subsequently I spent the afternoon by the pool and what a perfect pool it is here at the Happy Elephant, made all the more perfect by the delightful Singaporean girl who happened to be sun bathing there. However, silver lining brings with it the temptations that I have been trying to avoid, yes, within minutes she'd discovered my weak spot.... No, it wasn't her beautiful eyes, her rather perfect figure, nor her ample bosom (Have I just said "Ample bosom", what a knob end)..... No she started talking about Free flow Champagne Brunches and the fact that she knows of one on a Sunday here in Rawai at the Royal Yacht Club on Nai Harn Beach...... I'd immediately forgotten that I was trying to have a month abstinence and almost suggested that we raid her fridge of the Champagne that was in it and then head down to the Yacht Club immediately.... I'd totally forgotten that it's only Tuesday! Needless to say I think the fact that I then started to talk about my love of wine for the next hour may have slightly worried her, especially when another couple arrived (British) and they joined in, we couldn't stop. In fact I cannot stop thinking about it now, I just want WINE!!!!

So..... there we are, I get a slightly sore leg and all that I want to do is run off and drink wine til kingdom come..... God, I really do need to to see someone about this, preferably the owner of the nearest wine shop.

God help me if I am unable to get back into training very soon as I have seven weeks left in a country where it is a pound for a bottle of beer.....